In Other Words

That little voice...

You know that little voice you hear when you're making dinner,  getting ready in the morning, driving in the car, etc...  You know that voice, right?   Sometimes it alerts us to danger, sometimes it provides us with a creative vision, and sometimes it urges us to act on something.  I hope I'm not the only one who has that voice.  Oprah has mentioned "the voice" before so I'm assuming I'm not alone!

Anyway, I'm here today to tell you to listen to your inner voice.  I know I've been away from my blog a bit in the past week or two.  I've been busy putting all my grandeous plans I made around the Holidays into action.  Who knows if I even have any readers left?!  (Maybe I'm talking to myself.)  At any rate, if ever you have taken anything away from reading my blog let it be this:  LISTEN TO THAT VOICE.  It's there for a reason.

Wednesday afternoon I was out running errands kid-free (a rarity for me).   On the way home I was enjoying a bit of peace and quiet with MY music playing in the background.  A nice change of pace from the books on cd or kid music that usually plays when there are kids in the car.  So, I'm sitting at a stop light when that little voice pops into my head.  "You should call Katie." , the voice said.  Hmmmm... the voice goes onto say things like;  "Wow, Katie is coming up on her 21st birthday...has it really been that long since she graduated.", "I wonder if all of her hair is grown back.", "I wonder if she still has a lot of phantom pains from losing her leg.", "I bet she would like a gift certificate to a movie rental store...oh, how that girl loves movies.".  It was at least a 10-minute train of random thoughts about my dear friend, Katie. 

Katie was a former high school student of mine.  I had her in my 10th grade American History class.  The beginning of her Junior year she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.  Due to the side effects from the rigorous treatment she was unable to attend school on a regular basis.  I took on the role of homebound teaching Katie.  During her junior and senior year we worked like mad to complete her course work.  Of course that meant notes and lectures in the company of a nurse administering meds. Or the constant buzz of the port dripping that weeks treatment into her body while she plugged away at a paper or a test.  It also meant her mom holding and rocking my brand new baby who was just a few weeks old so I could help Katie fill in the answers as she was too tired to write.

Together we worked to accomplish her goal of graduating with her classmates.  She and I were a determined duo...nothing would stop us...not even chemo!  I'm proud to say that we did it!!  Katie graduated with her class.  Quite an accomplishment especially under those circumstances.

Well...it's been 3 years since she graduated.  In the past three-years Katie's cancer was under control, came back, had a leg bone taken out and replaced with a state of the art "rod" (katie called it her "Cadillac Leg"), cancer under control, came back, had her leg amputated, suffered extreme phantom pains, continued treatment to rid her body of cancer...   In other words, in the past three years Katie put up quite a fight.

Over the past three years I have thought of Katie often.  I checked her Caring Bridge site for updates every now and again.  I also recieved updates from a mutual friend of her family.  Although I didn't stay in close contact with Katie after she graduated I still felt such a strong connection to her. 

On Wednesday, there was that voice.  I'm almost positive it was the longest stretch of time that voice has ever gone on in my head.  By the time I got home I was determined to call her...we needed to catch up.  When I walked in the door I was quickly swept up in  birthday party preparations.  There was a cake to bake, dinner to prepare, gifts to wrap.  Maybe I could call tomorrow.  The next morning we made our regular Thursday morning trip to the library.  Then of course the kids decide to nap opposite one another so there is no quiet time for a phone call.  That's ok...I'll call just as soon as the kids go down.  I go and tuck my oldest son into bed and phone starts ringing.  I can hear a voice on the answering machine..."Hi Jamie, this is Mrs. Fellows calling with an update on Katie...."

My heart dropped.  I knew.  I was too late.  I knew without question why she was calling.  There wasn't a doubt in my mind.  Sure enough.  Katie passed away at 4:15 pm on Thursday afternoon.  She passed in the comfort of her home surrounded by her closest friends and family. 

So this, my friends, is a gentle reminder to listen to that little voice.  Act on it.  DO what it is telling you to do before it's too late. 

Non-toxic...

 

Thank goodness for non-toxic art supplies!  My poor little guy wants so desperately to be like his older brother...always wanting in on the activities.  The other day I thought I'd let him have a try.  Afterall, how bad could it get?! 

About two minutes into our art project my oldest son says, "MommyI'vegottagopottyreallybadhurryhurry".  I quickly usher him into the bathroom forgetting that I left my baby sitting at the table with a half a bottle of paint, a paintbrush, and an insaciable appetite...not a good combination.

I rushed back to the table only to see my budding artist devouring a tasty mix of green tempera paint.  Now one would think I would rush to get soap and a washcloth...WRONG.  I run over and grab my camera and start snapping away.  Ha!  It must be the die hard "scrapper" in me. 

I think it's moments like this when I really appreciate the world of photography.  When I was growing up my mom kept a seperate album for both me and my sister.  They were filled with the standard "first day of school" pictures and the dreaded "class pictures", but there were a few candid shots tucked in too.  These were my favorite and I LOVED hearing the stories behind them.  I can see myself sitting down one day explaining to my sweet little boy why his mommy let him eat green paint early one January morning!

   

Happy List...

I think I'm finally ready to tackle my happy list.  I was tagged twice for this list in the past two weeks so I thought I should get on it as to not break the cycle!  It's so nice to sit and reflect on the little things in life that bring me happiness..especially when my heart is so sad with the recent news of my buddy Grant.  His family is updating the blog daily and my heart nearly stops everytime I see a new entry in my inbox.  Grant is a fighter and his little body is doing everything possible to stay here. Please continue to pray for peace and comfort for his family.  If you are intersted in following his progress you can see updates here:  Grant's Blog

This happy list is just the type of thing Grant would love.  Afterall, he is the one who told me that everyday can be a green day if I want it to be.  Such a smart young man.  So, even though my heart is sad...here are a few things that make me happy and bring a smile to my face each and every day:

#5)  Shark 3-Speed Cordless Vacuum Cleaner

This was a Christmas gift given to me by my Grandparents.  When I first opened it I thought.."Oh, great..another cleaning gadget that will collect dust in a closet."  How wrong I was, my friends.  This little do0-hicky is an amazing machine...especially if you have toddlers in your house.  This is a 3-speed cordless vacuum cleaner with enough power to pull a half o' box of crushed cheerios off my wood floor and a cup and a half of sugar out of my rug all in one charge.  This puppy means business!  And did I mention it turns on a dime?!  No joke...this is one lean, mean cleaning machine.  Oh, how I love my shark.

#4) Caldrea Hand Soap

Who knew that hand soap would ever bring me such joy?!  I think my hand soap/lotion obsession started with the birth of my first son.  As a first time, mom I was determined that each and every person who walked through our door would wash their hands before holding our precious child.  After a few months of mommyhood...the soap became more about me.  I was changing some of the most horrific smelling diapers and I thought I deserved a good soap!  This is one of those items I allow myself to splurge on when needed.  It's a little splash (pardon the pun) of sunshine in my day!

#3) Borders Chai Tea

Sniff, sniff, sniff...I get a little sappy talking about my all-time favorite Chai Tea.  Borders sells the most amazing Vanilla Chai Tea I've ever tasted.  It's become part of my morning routine and like some coffee drinkers...I've become addicted.  I don't travel without it.  Imagine my shock when I found out that all Borders Book Stores are switching over to Seattle's Best Coffee which means they will no longer sell Borders Brand!  AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!  Luckily, the store closest to me isn't switching over until late this summer.  You can bet your bottom dollar I will be taking a stock up trip to Borders every month to build up my stash!!

#2)  My book pile

Oh, how I love my book pile.  Since becoming a mom, the average amount of time I spend reading has been drastically reduced.  However, that doesn't stop me from collecting books and adding them to my pile of "must-reads".  I'm sitting here looking at my stash with such titles as  The Other Boelyn Girl, Harvesting the Heart, and The Time Traveler's Wife...just to name a few!

#1) GIVING

I truly believe that nothing makes me happier nor gives me more pleasure in life than the act of giving.  I remember watching the movie "Pay It Forward" in college and being motivated to go out and do random acts of kindness.  The idea that doing something nice could have such long reaching effects was inspiring!  Those times when I've done something nice just for the sake of being nice..not looking for anything in return have made me so incredibely happy.

A few years ago my husband and I decided to take the "random acts" of kindness to the next level.  We decided we needed to be more consistent with giving.  We made a committment to give a minimum of 10% of our income to charity.  We were very selective of where our money would go and we feel very good about our decisions.

I will admit that sometimes it's HARD to give.  There are times when I think maybe we could just skip one month so I could get that new piece of photography equipment I really *need*.  Or, it wouldn't hurt just this once to buy those shoes and that really cute coat, afterall I worked really hard this month.   Now, that's not to say we don't splurge.  (See item #3 on  my happy list!)  But, giving has really helped me realize what's important.  I definitely think twice before plopping down my debit card.  I can honestly say that although it costs us...giving makes me smile!

Grant...

All day today I've been pondering over my list of "5 things that make me really happy".  My goal was to sit down tonight with a hot cup of Chai tea (#3 on my list of "happy things") and write a lighthearted blog entry. 

Instead, I sat down just after dinner to check my e-mail and was met with not-so-good news about my friend, Grant.  Some of you who have been to my blog before may recall Grant's story.   He is an amazing young boy who is battling a rare and almost always fatal form of brain cancer.  If you go back and read the first entry you will understand that my meeting with him was life-changing.  He taught me that everday can be a "green" day if we want them to be (he color codes his days based on the amount of pain he feels...green=good...red=bad).  His lesson came at an important time in my life and I truly feel he gave me more than I could ever give in return.

Sadly, the MRI he had today revealed that the tumors in his brain have grown.  This is devastating news. 

Please pray for Grant and his entire family.

I can't type much more than that.

Thank you!! 

Keep your fingers crossed!

Well...I launched my new birth announcement templates on my design site last night.  This is the third time I've launched designs and every time I put them out I get a nervous kinda' tummy ache.  You know...the kind of tummy ache you used to get on the first day of school.   I'm excited, anxious, and nervous all at the same time.  I think I get this way because I plan out these things for so long.  I spend a lot of time thinking of color schemes, design concepts, layouts, etc.. and when all is said and done all I can do is hope that people like them.   

So..if you could just send some good vibes my way they would be very much appreciated.  Holding my breath!

Here's a quick peek at some of the designs: